New Year's celebrations were spent with my friend Hugh and my landlord Pat with his WHOLE Thai family. There were kids running around, whiskey being consumed, poker being played, vegan food being gobbled down, fireworks and paper lanterns.
I felt such a bubble of love as we laughed and spoke broken English/Thai together. It was Pat's son Gamma's 5th birthday so I provided candles and we sang to him as he sat smiling in front of TWO cakes.
I liked that I spent the holiday with Hugh. We butt heads sometimes (like bickering brother and sister) but my love for our friendship grows each time we hang out. He and Pat get on so so well and whenever we all three hangout, a giddy night of comedy ensues.
I thought about my friends and family in the States and in Ireland that night. I looked up at Orion's belt amongst the fireworks and could feel the soul connection with Hannah and Corneilus. Although a lifetime be in the space between, we are always connected. How far I've come since last New Years.
Some thoughts on what I want for my life this next revolution around the sun:
-Publish at LEAST 2 bodies of photographic work and present them to the world in a creative way
-Get my Writing published again either online or in print
-Live a more active life
-Move to Australia
-Do things as often as I can that are uncomfortable or challenging for me
-Drive Pat's motorcycle more (this ties in to the more active lifestyle)
-Do all that I can, Whenever I can, for whomever I can
-Read more books
In the vein of doing things that challenges me and makes me uncomfortable, I went on a run before New Years and while cooling down...I kept thinking of how to get a fresh start. How to change my personal narrative. SO I went through my phone and deleted ALL photos of Tim. over 3,000 glorious images that reminded me of the beautiful and horrific times we shared when our lives were intertwined. Trips to Galway, trips to Paris, trips to marble arch caves, trips to America, trips to England, moments in our bedrooms, nights out. All memories that my brain will have forever...but I decided in that moment in the park that I no longer needed the visual of my past love life. And just like that it was all gone. Into the ether.
I haven't felt freedom like that in a very long time.
In the vein of driving a motorcycle more and getting out in nature, Hugh, Ann and I took a trip to the mountains this weekend and camped out on a compound that had a fresh garden patch. I hadn't been camping since Stendhal festival with Hannah and so I was way overdue for a night under the stars.
Us three amigos picked fresh veg from the gardens, gathered firewood and took in the scenery before I whipped up a vegan coconut stew served over rice.
We sat up all night talking with the Thai locals who were working on the compound. More broken English Thai conversations. They wouldn't let our cups be empty. More white thai whiskey. it tasted like Ponchin.
We stumbled to our tent setups and lit a bonfire. Drunk on spirits and full bellied. Hugh played songs on his guitar and we sang along groggily. I blew into my harmonica and the night erupted with melody.
I slept so well in my new tent. I want to take it with me to Australia.
The drive back to Mae Sai was glorious. I'm usually a passenger on Hugh's motorcycle but to be in the drivers seat was another feeling of freedom. He and I raced down the country roads. cheeky speed games.
The past two weeks have brought me clarity for what I want and NEED in my future. Let's see what the universe has in mind. I read that Saturn had been ruling my last 3 years (which are usually rough years when Saturn rules you) but Jupiter's return has begun in December. The phase of Jupiter's return shows improvements in my financial, romantic, physical and travel life. I don't like to follow astrology as if it's 100%....but then again...that all sounds really positive :)
This week at school is exams for the kids. I only have to be in class Tuesday and Thursday. SO I am sitting on this Monday at a peacock cafe with Hugh as we lesson plan and get some life admin things sorted.
I hope wherever you are, you are filled with love, clarity and a resolve to make this one particular life as glorious as you wish it to be.
Peace out bean sprouts,