So it's been a bit of an impromptu time away from blogging and all multimedia. I must admit I had avoided all things creative for a good few months due to my own hangups. I hit a wall. Distractions. New friends. Lazyness. Poor discipline. Fear. Whatever you want to call it; I felt a pang of melancholy whenever I picked up my camera. Memories of a past life working for my images and videography clashed with my reality of being a full time teacher in a new city with new distractions.
I feel like I'm awake after six months of being buried alive. Yesterday was September 27th...exactly one year since I stepped off that flight in Bangkok. It was a sudden realisation that I had been in this strange place for a full 365 days. How could this be? Time goes on. That's the only certainty there is really. Whether you're participating in it or not.
After several blissful months of settling into my teaching job, making new friends, traveling to new places like Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, being rushed to the hospital for low blood sugars, buying my own motorbike, starting and stopping new projects, being in financial ruin, and enjoying every minute of this mad life, I decided to refocus my mind.
"What is it you want?" I would ask myself. "And how do you get there?"
Well here I am. It was time to emerge from the weird creative slump and so I have made a new deal with myself. I must continue to grow in my craft. I must continue to not back down from the dream of working full time to be a visual artist. I have plans of making a name for myself one day, big or small, it doesn't matter. All I want to do is create. And share. And storytell. This can't happen if my camera is never with me or if I never spend the time to write or edit. SO things must change.
365 days is a long time to be waffling about. But sometimes we need a bit of a lull to knock some sense into ourselves. I am back at the gym and Hugh and I go most days which has helped my energy levels. I'm looking for new ways to meet other creative people in Chiang Mai and actually properly connect with them. I've enrolled in business and entrepreneur seminars to help further my business plans, and I'm learning when to ask for help. It's a start. We all have to restart from somewhere from time to time. It's a humbling experience to reflect back on where you were and see where you are now, but perhaps this will be the motivation I need to surpass where I ever was.
I've missed creativity. And free expression. So slowly but surely, I'm coming back. Please be gentle with me as I navigate this space.
Life in Chiang Mai is lovely, but I know I must push myself out of my routines. I guess no one told me how much teaching would ware my energy levels down. With 6am starts and 4pm finishes, I had been feeling like there was nothing left in the tanks when I got home. The gym has helped a lot with this debacle and I can honestly say that although challenging at times, this is by far one of the most rewarding jobs I've ever had in my life. When your day revolves around interacting with kids, it does something to you. Makes you look at life a little differently. I'm far happier when I'm able to let my inner child come screaming out in a tornado of wild laughter, goofy faces, and loving hugs. My kids at school have completely changed the woman I once was. And for that I'm eternally grateful.
In any case, here's a few quick things I've learned in the last 365 days, I hope these life lessons will resonate with you in some shape or form.
It feels great to be back into this productive mindset and I can't wait to share more of my journey with you in due time.
From my jungle to yours,